ENTRY 6 - 4/4/2024. 11:34 AM EST.

helloooooo. im writing another entry again since im really bored in class rn. today in english class, we had to do speeches for our julius caesar eulogy thingy we made. it was actually rlly funny, so yea.

i love going to school, ironically. i feel as though i am in my element... ive always been an introvert, but i feel safe around people, even if there are a lot of fights at my school, and people are a bit wonky, i really like it. though, i still feel sad. i feel like the only people who will ever get me are eric and dylan, but unfortunately, they are DEADDD!! big fat L on my part lmao.

i just-- idk. i feel like they would maybe be friends with me if i went to columbine way back then. idk. it makes me feel so odd and outcasted to know that nobody will ever ACTUALLY know how i feel, and the only people who ever would get remotely CLOSE to that are terrible people... i hate being like this, I HATE IT !!!! guhhhhhhhhhh !!!! i wish i were normal. i wish i thought like everyone else did. i wish i could interact normally with people without seeming weird or messed up or oversharing... i wish i were NORMAL!!!!!!! I WISH I WERE SO NORMAL THAT I DIDN'T EVEN STAND OUT !!! I WANT TO LOOK SO AVERAGE AND BORING THAT NOBODY EVER NOTICES MEEE!!!! huhgghhh mhuebhj but even if i looked normal, my weirdness would still seep out from between the cracks, like an infected papercut or zit or something. guh. i just wanna have friends in real life like how i have friends online. even tho they don't understand me, they still actually CARE. ghuhhuj3ewbhjewhj/... im gonna end this entry now. ty for reading ig. bye cuz now im in a bad mood. home.