ENTRY 1 - 3/28/2024. 8:50 PM EST.

helloooo, this is my first entry in this thing.

SO WHY NOT GET INTO THE NITTY-GRITTY RIGHT AWAY HUH?

lately i've been thinking about a lot of things. mainly my past and ex-friends. the people i had known for almost a year who later told me to "slit to the bone", "kys" and the like. these people are fucking disgusting and i HATE THEM. however, i hate myself even more for thinking i could trust and rely on these people. being betrayed... it's miserable. and jacket... i LOVED him. I REALLY FUCKING DID. i thought he was happy... i thought I WAS HAPPY, but no. he just had to go and betray me, just like all the other miserable FUCKHEADS out there.

alas,

we gain and lose people all the time. my friendship and time spent on jacket was merely a PHASE of my life. a WASTE OF TIME, if you will. yet i still can't seem to move on from it. from any of it. i call THEM the miserable fuckheads, but what does that make me? i'm no god, even though i have my moments. and to say that i haven't royally fucked up in the past is a big fat fucking lie. i hate liars. I hate a lot of things though, including myself. however, as i write, i realize that i don't hate MYSELF, rather than i hate my DECISIONS and ACTIONS. maybe i've been the miserable fuck all along...